im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
