So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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