i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I will be naked everywhere
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
