it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
