that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
