Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
