How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
