I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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