I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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