he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
