i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
