I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
