I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
