my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
