FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
