If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she peed on how many people?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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