It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You were trust falling into bushes
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
