Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
