He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize