he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
