Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
