I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
