I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
