I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
