i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
