p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
