is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
