I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
