I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
