I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
