I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
