I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
