thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
This is not my ceiling
Don't make out with my wife yet
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
