Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
