Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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