Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
