that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
