New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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