shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
