names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
