OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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