i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
