If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
