enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
