Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
