Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
