I won't be sarcastic... just naked
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I use my feet as sexual weapons
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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