The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
