I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
