I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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