'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
