He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
