Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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